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English cricket - irreversible decline or temporary lull? We won the series against South Africa - no mean achievement as it happens but, like other sports we invent and export, we've been superseded by others. It's a British habit.
What's your opinion on Swedish football? We have a terrible record against the Swedes.
What do you think of women's football (soccer)? I like the end of the matches, when the teams swap shirts....;-)
Do you know the Argentinean football players playing in European teams and what do you think of them? I know the players from the World Cup like Batistuta and Ortega - they are very good. In fact, the Argentinian national team plays very attractive football. Unfortunately it's the latin temperament that tends to let them down.
Is it true that most Europeans consider American football to be "girly" because of all that padding that they wear? Yes. You don't see our Rugga boys wearing all that garb, do you - that's because they're hard.
What's your opinion on Danish football? The Danes aren't bad - Schmeical is a whinger but I have to concede, a very good goalie. They won the Euro championships didn't they ('92 I think)? Do you go to all QPR's home matches? Not any more. I did until a couple of years ago but they're so bad at the moment. Yes I know - fair weather supporter but until the club shows a little ambition again, I'm not prepared to put myself through such torture week in, week out. They have to give something back to the fans if they expect to keep their support.
Have you any opinion on the french footballers playing in England? Nancy boys with dodgy haircuts. Actually, I have to admit, most of them are excellent players but what's wrong with a good old fashioned short back and sides?
Euro Super League: Good or Bad? Bad but probably inevitable. Or maybe good for Q.P.R.
Are you still interested in soccer? When you're football, you're always football ;-) Soccer is not something I'm going to suddenly lose interest in - I'm afraid I'm committed and unfortunately to a team that's not very good at the moment.
I know you're disenchanted now but in the past have you ever considered renting a box at QPR? No, in fact I've never been in a box at QPR. What do you think of Formula 1? I found it more interesting when Hill was driving a top car and challenging for the championship. It's mildly interesting but quite low on my preferred sports list.
We all know that Alan is a football freak, and I guess you're not, but do you have a favourite kind of sport or any other obsessions that get on Alan's nerves? Not a football fan, moi? I love football. I was a Q.P.R. supporter before I ever met Alan - quite a coincidence eh? I'm not obsessive about anything but I try to get on his nerves as much as possible, to relieve the boredom...... ;-)
I don't understand this World Cup thing. I watched the Italy vs. France match in order to formulate my own opinion about whether this whole tournament is relevant to an American. I watched the first half sober. Predictable result: not much action and the teams switched sides for the beginning of the 2nd half (something the Italians are good at). I'm happy to report that the 2nd. half was more entertaining. I got drunk. I spent the rest of the match with a larger in one hand and the other cocked back in aggression behind my girlfriends head. (Aggression and rage seem to be part of the fun of European sporting events). For the most part, fun was had by all (except my terrified girlfriend). Much to my dismay, the Italians lost on some silly "shoot-out". Evidently shoot-out means something different in the US. We prefer our shoot-outs to consist of bullets, police and some type of disgruntled worker, preferably a postal employee. Although I was unhappy to see Italy lose, I was happy to see the French win something without the help of the Americans. How do you suggest I go about becoming a better football watcher? What are your methods? Unsound no doubt. Welcome to lesson 1 Michael, I think we should start with the basics. 1. Never, ever watch football in the presence of a lady with your larger (or anyone else's for that matter) in your hand - it upsets them no end and it is hardly surprising your girlfriend was terrified. Your testosterone levels will be astronomical with the all the added excitement. 2. Aggression and rage are most certainly an important part of European sporting events but particularly vital in football - so too is xenophobia, racism, sexism, extreme violence and Des Lynam (we'll come to him in lesson 2). 3. Don't concern yourself with complex details like penalty shoot-outs, the offside rule and why footballers like to simulate sexual intercourse when they score a goal.....you're American, you wouldn't understand. My advice to you: stick to good wholesome, all-American sports like Baseball and drive-by shootings as your preferred choice of entertainment.
Are you aware that apparently QPR have the cleanest toilets in the whole division? Some would say that's because all the sh*t is out on the pitch? Not me though...I'm too polite:?) Sadly, that's true - says a lot about their priorities doesn't it? I had high hopes for our chairman, Chris Wright, when he came to the club but he's turned out to be a right pillock.
I'm a big QPR fan as well...... You poor bastard. but the team is shite this year....... They're not that good...... - no more Sinclair, Quashie, Ferdinand....Do you think the best days of QPR are over? Who knows? I hope not but it's looking bleak. When I first started supporting the club in the sixties, they were a third division side so anything's possible. Thanks to the chairman's terrible decisions, Gerry Francis now has an almost impossible job on his hands.
Where does that "Some of the crowd are on the pitch......it is now!" quote come from. I've heard it sampled in a New Order song. I know that pitch is "playing field" and I was just wondering if there was any significant event behind that quote, such as a cricket or soccer riot. I'd appreciate any light you could shed on this. It was the 1966 World Cup final at Wembley between England and West Germany (ggrrrr). England were 3 - 2 up at the time. About 30 seconds before the final whistle, Geoff Hurst (England) burst through towards the goal. The commentator Kenneth Wolsenholme said: " Some people are on the pitch......they think it's all over......." Hurst fired the ball into the back of the net and he finished the sentence with "IT IS NOW!"
Are you happy for us French to have won the World Cup or do you feel quite bitter? "Like the Murphys - I'm not bitter". There are several countries who I'd have been far less happy to see win. I don't mind the French picking up the trophy - they've never won it before and it was great to see the host country celebrating so wildly - I was jealous of that. I have to say that I don't think the French team was the best in the competition. At times they were dull but good luck to them.
Do you still watch Rangers occasionally? Well, I've become so jaded about the Superhoops, that I've gone beyond pissed off. It's more a feeling of resignation. Hep and I and Paris (she saw her first live game aged 10 days) used to have season-tickets but when we moved out of London and got relegated from the Premier League, we stopped going. We see the odd match now and then. Do you go to watch your horses race, and is it an investment or more of an enjoyment thing? They're trained and raced in Ireland, so I don't get out there all that much. They haven't proved to be any great investment, although I never expected them to be. I've lost money on the whole venture but I don't care. I saw one masterful victory in Ireland, before 'Running Blade' injured herself, never again to be seen other than munching away in the corner of a field..... In typically Irish fashion, my intended name of 'Blade Runner', inexplicably turned into 'Running Blade' when the name was registered ;-) Have you been taking an interest in Wimbledon or do you just play the game for fun / fitness? I like tennis a lot actually and keep meaning to get ticket for a live match.
I was just wondering if there are any hobbies or sports that you, Hep or both of you, participate in? We play tennis everyday - well I do anyway, I don't know what Hep calls it ;-) If it's raining we work out. Note from Hep: "He thinks he's Pete Sampras - he ain't..."
As a Utahn, I must ask if you have a preference for either of the teams in the NBA finals? I have no interest whatsoever in the NBA finals so I couldn't even tell you who the teams were. - try me on football (soccer) or cricket.
I played football for15 years as a kid. Did you ever play for a club team? And if you did, what position? No, I haven't played since school. I was usually Left back (in the changing room ;-))
Have you ever seen QPR play at Stoke? Funnily enough, yes. Q.P.R.'s fixture at 'The Potteries', happily coincided with a day off during an early Mode tour, when I happened to find myself stranded in Hanley on a Saturday afternoon. Can't remember the details of the game but a score of 2 -1 to Stoke rings a bell - check your programmes from 1982 / 3 to see if I'm right ;-)
What do you think of Juergen Klinsmann ? Used to hate the diving, cheating bastard but he won all us English over with his gentlemanly attitude when he came to play here. As a result, I have to admit to secretly liking him even though he's German Do you think Gascoigne deserved not to take part in the World Cup? I can see both sides - he's fat and unfit so I can understand why he's been dropped but he also has more raw talent than most of the squad and I think I would have taken him instead of Rob Lee.
Would you ever consider writing a song for the World Cup? If I was ever asked, I'd consider it but I think it's highly unlikely.
You seem like a pretty fit guy, do you have a specific exercise regimen? Well I do have to keep my girth under control as middle age has kicked in ;-) Of course, drumming helped a lot on the last tour but unfortunately I haven't been disciplined enough to keep it up to the same level, so the best I can manage is tennis, or a workout and a sauna.
I'd like to know your opinion on the Tartan Army, either the squad or the supporters. The actuality of the question is the shocking behaviour of England fans in Marseilles during the last World Cup. Well, whilst nobody wants to see morons at football (of which unfortunately, there are many - particularly a number that attach themselves to the English national team), I do however think that the reporting of English football fans behaviour abroad is heavily biased, based on the reputation that precedes them. From the TV footage that I saw from Marseilles, the majority of "rampaging football hooligans", seemed to consist of local North Africans and plain clothed French police plus a few fat English yobos. As far as the Scots go, the behaviour of their supporters is exemplar.
I found it most convenient that you guys scheduled the 2nd leg of the American 'Devotional' tour around the World Cup ;) . How many games did you actually get to see and was it a bit bizarre to see the World Cup in the States? I saw 2 live games - Ireland vs. Italy and Ireland vs. Norway (both at Giants, N.Y.) and just about all the other games on television. American commentary leaves a lot to be desired but U.S. organisation was first class and therefore the experience of going to the games was extremely enjoyable.
Should David Beckham be bound, gagged and stuck up on a platform and for10 quid people can line up and give him a good kicking? And would you join in the fun? To quote Ron Atkinson (TV pundit)..."The petulance
is flying about now - undiscipline...the lad's done unfortunate...that's
not good intelligence."
What's your favourite player in England's football team? Michael Owen - the nation's wonderboy.
Do you like ice hockey? And if so, what would you say about Nagano? I don't watch it regularly but from the choice of popular American sports, it's the most exciting and I did see a couple of games when I was in the U.S. in '93 / '94.
Do you have any interest in cycling? If so, do you follow the 'Tour de France' at all? Is there a high level of tolerance for cyclists on the road in England? Here it can be treacherous. I'm afraid I've no interest in it at all and to be perfectly honest, in England where we rarely have designated cycling lanes, bicycles are a danger and a nuisance on the road.
Do you ever listen to 6 at 6 on Radio 4 on a Saturday afternoon after the matches? I think it's a great laugh. Not often actually but I agree, it is good. What do you think of the standard of referees at the moment? Criminal or what? No worse than usual really. Something's got to be done about the offside situation though - how many times are the linesmen going to get it wrong? TV replays prove beyond any doubt that the human eye is not quick enough to judge. Let's have some brilliant cyclopse-type invention or change the rules. Another thing that annoys me is the increasing habit of defenders shielding the ball out of play.
I first would like to say to you (and Stephen Riley), I'm a 20-year old soccer referee. I was choked when I read Stephen's question 'Referees: Criminal or what?' I want people to understand that we are the only people on the field expected to give a 100% performance. If a player gives a wrong pass it's "Yeah good try" but if a referee doesn't see a close off-side, you've got half the stadium on your back. Believe me, the better the level, the easier it is to judge!!! That's all I need - a disgruntled referee! You'll get no sympathy from me, mate. If you wish to choose that particular profession, you must expect everything you get ;-) Actually, all I said was that referees are no worse than usual. I didn't say how good or bad I considered 'usual' to be -eh? If you read my answer carefully you would have realised that I was actually advocating extra help for refs. rather than just the usual pair of glasses. It's not your FAULT that your human eyes are not capable or that you don't possess another pair in the back of your head. Believe me, you need more guts to be a referee than a supporter screaming like a pig next to the field. I once took my niece to a game (she's 3 years old) and at the end of it she was crying because she heard people saying bad words to her lovely uncle. She's going to have to learn about you someday - might as well be sooner rather than later ;-) Were these people questioning the validity of your mother's marital status? If I can give you some advice (especially Stephen), think about the fact that a referee is a person with feelings and a family around him too!!! Ahhh....that is so sweet.... Sorry Alan if I sound a bit aggressive but people just don't realise how difficult it is to be a referee and I'm still alone when I whistle (I'm still in Youth categories so there are no linesmen - it's f**king difficult man!) That's alright Johan - the job's obviously got to you in a big way. Don't worry, we only hate you for 90 minutes on a Saturday (and maybe a few hours afterwards in the pub ;-)) Have you, as soccer fan, already seen how we (Club Bruges) rule in Belgium? Actually we, as English snobs, hardly show any European league football on our sports programmes so, even though I am obviously aware of Club Bruges, I've hardly ever seen them play (except when one of our teams knocks them out of the Uefa Cup);-)
I'm a die hard Liverpool fan (which isn't so easy at the moment!) and can't stand the sight of Man U (which is even more difficult these days!). With Fletcher being a Chelsea fan, Martin supporting Arsenal and you cheering QPR, were there ever some high pitched arguments within the group about which London team rules the city and the country? And didn't Gahan support any team? Not that much - no more than a bit of healthy banter. Martin was an armchair supporter anyway so he never had a leg to stand on. Dave says he used to support Chelsea as a teenager but lost his interest in football (you're either football or you're not, aren't you?). In 1991 I saw QPR vs. Liverpool and I was very impressed with Loftus Road. It's a small, somehow worn out ground but the atmosphere was amazing. Do you like the stadium or do you feel they should renovate or relocate? Worn out's a bit harsh but I take your point (don't forget we were voted ground with the 'Best Toilet Facilities' in the division last year ;-)). Small, intimate with a great atmosphere when full, there will be a tinge of sadness when / if they move. My childhood memories of the school end, the smell of liniment oil on the player's legs, blokes smoking pipes and cigars, failing floodlights, small boys in the park, jumpers for goal posts, football - isn't it?...ahhh. Actually relocating to a 40,000 covered all-seater multi purpose stadium on the Wormwood Scrubs with decent parking etc., would probably be the best thing the club could do.
I certainly seem to have hit a nerve about the BBC and sport! While I agree that the Beeb can't moan if they won't put up enough money (*our* money!) to keep cricket, I feel that Channel 4 probably won't have the resources to show a complete game (e.g. the BBC have two channels to share it between). Of course, it will be a vast improvement if they don't take Geoffrey 'Boring old git' Boycott to C4. At least Radio 4 will still have 'Test Match Special'. Is this getting too far off-topic now?! C4 are threatening to share the coverage with racing. "Oi .... 4....NO!" I don't really care about the Beeb any more - I subscribe to Sky. OK, so it's cheesier and they insist on overdubbing stupid noises when replaying footy action from 14 different angles, and Richard Keys is the hairiest presenter on TV, but at least the coverage is comprehensive. I quite like listening to Boycott actually (or even better, Rory Bremner 'doing' Boycott): "he doesn't want to do it the namby pamby way - do it like I did in my day -that's good cricket!"
Do you like basketball? Do you like the Lakers (NBA basketball team)? Basketball is very much a minority sport in this country. As a result, the English are useless at it and I'm afraid it holds little interest for me.
On a more personal note, should I give up on American football and start watching more soccer (I only watch World Cup matches)? Baltimore's football team, the Ravens, are REALLY weak and half the line-up are drug and spouse abusers! Of course, if you're a real man ;-) All our best sportsmen drink, take drugs and kick their women about.
Any thoughts on the BBC losing cricket coverage (to Channel 4 for God's sakes!!)? I've no sympathy with the BBC. They moan because they've lost the franchise but their policy is to put sport low down on their agenda, only allocating a small proportion of their overall budget to sporting events. Consequently, they are steadily losing all the major events to higher bidders who are prepared to put their money where their mouths are. I shall miss Richie Benaud of course but hopefully, the lure of the cash will bring him to C4 as well. You can't beat 'Test match special' on Radio 4 (easily the best commentary) whilst watching the visuals from the TV. This is my idea of summer heaven. Sitting watching cricket ALL day long accompanied of course, by several large jugs of Pimms.
What did you think about the Belgian team? I was told that English people consider Belgium as good as San Marino or Luxemburg. Is it true? If it is, it's not very kind of you! ;-) San Marino or Luxembourg? Nah, you've been misinformed my mussel and frites-eating, chocolate-guzzling friend. We think Belgium's as good as The Faroe Islands.
Can you explain to us non-Brits exactly how big a deal it is for you to play Scotland in football? Basically, we've been fighting with the Scots for centuries - physically, up until about 300 years ago and since then, in various sporting contests. The 'sweaties' (sweaty jocks) hate us with a vengeance - partly because we always beat them.
Did you see the Women's World Cup final? It was a great game and not just because USA won. China played a great game too. Good venue as well. You have to love the Rose Bowl. No, I'm afraid it wasn't aired on British TV - I think they showed a re-run of the 'The Morecambe and Wise Show' instead. That's how interested we are in birds trying to play 'the beautiful game'. Actually, I did see some clips and the quality was really quite good (he says in patronising 'I suppose I'd better give them some sort of credit' manner).
It's soccer season here in the States and my boyfriend won't watch the footy with me. Whatever am I to do? Tell him that, from now on, he can forget about dribbling around in the box and sticking his ball in the back of your net - I think you'll find he soon shapes up.
You've had the football season, then the cricket season, what comes next in good Ol' Britain? The fishing season!? No, the football season again.
What life changing event can make you change your football team? Well I came close to changing allegiance when QPR (managed by Ray Harford) signed Ian Dowie, Vinny Jones and Neil Rudduck. That was an extremely ugly low point but...... a football team is for life.
Tell me which was the best football match that you remember. Chelsea 2, Leeds I - 1970 FA Cup Final replay. Yes, I was a Chelsea fan in those days.
Cricket. I was wondering what the reason was for the existence of such a dull game - can you enlighten me? There are also certain terms I am not quite sure about: fielding ? cut? square leg? stumping? I guess that only British eccentrics are able to enjoy it ;-) Cricket is actually an extremely exciting and stimulating game - honest! There are moments that are as energetic as a football match or as skilful as good tennis but you can also get away with being a tub of lard and still make it into the England team. Generally, it is a game of tactics and more akin to chess. The slightest factors can have dramatic consequences on the match and effect the result in a matter of seconds so it's vital that the players understand all the little nuances of the game. For example, the most insignificant change in the weather, like the sky clouding over, can influence the way the ball travels through the air, or the number of cracks in the playing surface (the 'wicket') will determine how the ball bounces. To combat or take advantage of these things, the team captain has an array of different players at his disposal from those who perhaps bowl very fast, to experts at spinning the ball. It is his job to know when to employ these. I couldn't begin to explain all the rules but here are a few terms to help you on your way to cricket heaven.......;-) Square leg: A fielding position to the left of a right-handed batsman ..... Stumping: The dismissal of a batsman by the removal of the bails quickly while he has stepped out of his crease (batting position), having missed the ball. Yorker: A ball bowled right at the feet of the batsman. Googlie: A particularly unusual type of spinning delivery. Night watchman: A lower order batsman who is promoted up the batting order during his team's innings to protect the wicket towards the end of a day's play. Staffordshire cut: A lucky shot that the batsman knew very little about as the ball flies to the boundary off the edge of his bat, almost hitting his leg stump on it's way.
Today it is 26/07/99 and I have woken to the headline "New Zealand beat England at Lords for the first time" Gloat! Gloat! Did you watch this test match? Not only did I watch this match but I went to Lord's for the opening day's play. Oh, and how disappointed I was. I hadn't been to a live test match for about 20 years and the facilities haven't improved. Despite shelling out for the most expensive seats I could get, Hep and I (and PK) found ourselves stuck in the most claustrophobic, atmosphere-less section underneath the new media centre with the worst possible view. It was freezing cold, England were shit and then it rained. I had to buy Hep a bottle of Champagne for lunch and promise her all sorts of presents because she looked so unhappy (and she actually likes cricket). I didn't have the remotest idea that the ball had been swinging about prodigiously until I watched the highlights properly on TV the next day (when the sun shone of course). Note from Hep: Worse than all of the above were the morons seated on all sides of us, who got progressively more drunk and irritating as the game wore on......"I say Roger, did your wife make that picnic lunch for you....gwarr, gwarr......Hey old chap, who was the woman I saw you out with last week? Woman? That was no woman, that was my wife! Gforr, Gfoor......COME ON TUFFERS, HIT IT! Well done sir........" etc., etc. Have you ever played cricket yourself? If you did play, did you bowl, bat or just simply have a slash outside the off-stump? ;-) I was opening bowler for my school team. Have you heard of the Australian cricket comedy recording called "The Twelfth Man". It is a classic! I could track down a copy and send to you. No I haven't - I'd like to hear it though. Thanks.
Isn't cricket the most boring thing ever? You are now officially banned from Shunt. Never darken our doorstep again.
So the finest goalkeeper in the world, EVER, has decided to leave British soil. (It must be your weather, or your food :-)) Or perhaps he couldn't handle 50,000 non-Man. Utd. fans shouting "Fuck off Rudolf" at him every week.
As a football fan, what do you think of the Hillsborough Family Support Group's continuing fight for justice? Fine - I hope they get some.
Shepp Blatter, head of FIFA, wants to organize a World Cup every 2 years. What do you think? Is it a good or a bad idea? Well, obviously for us footy lovers, the prospect of the World Cup occurring more often is very enticing but not really practical. For a start, how on earth would you play all the qualifiers in time? The big English clubs that contain most of the top players already complain that they play too often and that international games are a hindrance to the very lucrative domestic league because of players being recalled etc. Also, there's the fear that the European championships would just turn into a great big qualifying competition and cease to exist as a separate and very important tournament. There's also the fact that the World Cup spectacular is just that - a great event that only occurs every 4 years making it even more special. Personally I'd like to keep it that way.
Do they still broadcast the Superbowl over there in the UK ? American football has quite an ego. I'm sure it gets shown at 2 or 3am but nobody watches it. We like to watch Rugby where we can see people getting their ears ripped off and legs broken rather than a load of nancy-boys with pillows down their shirts ;-)
Do you plan Euro 2000 parties at Wilder Family house in June? Is the Pope catholic? Have you got any idea which team will win? For my part, Belgium, Holland or France have the best chance to win. Have Belgium ever won anything? Holland always blow it, as do England. The German team is too old. France had their moment (and we all know they weren't actually that great). Who does that leave? Italy.
I swore that I would not comment on the UEFA final last night but when stupidity rules one must react, especially when it's happening in one's capital. It was a f****** war zone :-( Wouldn't it be a fair decision to exclude all English teams from European football for, let's say, a period of 1-2 years just like after the Heysel tragedy? Will history never learn?? I honestly feel depressed on behalf of all football lovers. What will happen at EURO 2000?? I certainly do feel some sympathy that such a civilised city such as Copenhagen should have to endure mindless thuggery and yes, even though it wasn't exclusively the English supporters and even though other countries' supporters are also capable of it, we ARE, sadly, particularly good at it. It was also unfortunate that the Danish police were perceived as a soft touch and therefore, Copenhagan was seen as an ideal venue for retribution on the Turks for events that happened in the previous match against Leeds. As for Euro 2000, I imagine the Dutch police in particular will understand the importance of segregation (their fans are no angels). The English police certainly do, which is why, ironically, the best place to hold the next World Cup is... England. Look at Euro '96 - no trouble at all. Our police have more experience than any other at preventing violence at football.
The European Cup is near and I can't stop thinking about a possible match between Spain and England. I still remember the match played at Wembley in 1996 and how we were put out of the competition because the referee annulled a legal goal. Do you have a prediction for this possible match? What do you think about these two teams? All I can say is - it happens to us all. A certain Mr 'Hand Of God' Maradona sealed Englands 1986 World Cup fate. Spain are about as good as England on the international stage. I wouldn't like to predict the outcome.
Do they still broadcast the Superbowl over there
in the UK ? American football has quite an ego.
I'm sure it gets shown at 2 or 3am but nobody watches it. We like to watch Rugby where we can see people getting their ears ripped off and legs broken rather than a load of nancy-boys with pillows down their shirts ;-)
Any plans to attend Wimbledon this year? Don't think I'll have the time although Hep and I did go down to Eastbourne (coffin dodgers paradise) 2 weeks ago to see the pre-Wimbledon Ladies championship. It was particularly interesting to see how every single press camera in the whole of the centre court was trained on Anna Cornucopia for the entire duration of her match (while ignoring her more accomplished opponent) and how the builders working on a house overlooking the court strangely ended up doing repairs to the roof even though they were supposed to be mending the drains. Who's your favourite pro tennis player? From the past, Ille Nastase, John McEnroe, Boris Becker and Steffi Graf. These days, I like Agassi and Martina Hingis but generally, one doesn't see the same amount of characters around. Tim Henman's potentially a great player but a bit wimpy. If he could add more power into his game, he could win something.
Any plans to attend Wimbledon this year? Don't think I'll have the time although Hep and I did go down to Eastbourne (coffin dodgers paradise) 2 weeks ago to see the pre-Wimbledon Ladies championship. It was particularly interesting to see how every single press camera in the whole of the centre court was trained on Anna Cornucopia for the entire duration of her match (while ignoring her more accomplished opponent) and how the builders working on a house overlooking the court strangely ended up doing repairs to the roof even though they were supposed to be mending the drains. Who's your favourite pro tennis player? From the past, Ille Nastase, John McEnroe, Boris Becker and Steffi Graf. These days, I like Agassi and Martina Hingis but generally, one doesn't see the same amount of characters around. Tim Henman's potentially a great player but a bit wimpy. If he could add more power into his game, he could win something.
Euro 2000: Happy or not with the 3 opponents? The people in Charleroi are already freaking out when talking about Germany vs. England I know - so too is the English Supporters club but apparently UEFA are saying that it would be unfair to provide any special treatment (even in the area of crowd control) for one match over another. The English are worried because there are no scheduled flights out of the area after the match which means that most English fans will stay the night - in the bars no doubt. A re-run of 'Battle of the Bulge' it will be then....
What did you think about the match England vs Belgium? What did you think about the Belgian team? I was told that English people consider Belgium as good as San Marino or Luxemburg. Is it true? If it is, it's not very kind of you! ;-) San Marino or Luxembourg? Nah, you've been misinformed my mussel and frites-eating, chocolate-guzzling friend. We think Belgium's as good as The Faroe Islands. Problem was that I couldn't concentrate on that match because two 'septics' turned up to stay with us for 3 days just as the match kicked off. Being a polite chap an' all, I couldn't really tell Nicole to "trap it 'cause I'm watching the footy"
You have until Wednesday, then your arms will quickly come down and you will start to moan. YOU wil draw DENMARK (ehmm..we just played a draw against Iran, but who cares!) Seems we didn't. I hate to break your heart, but we have ALWAYS played good matches against E-N-G-E-L-A-N-D (thank you Bernard!) so this is what will happen. 1st play-off Engeland-DENMARK (at Wembley or Old Trafford) Benny gets his subuteo game out and.... ....there's a pen for the Danes.. Goldbaek kicks...and he scores!!! and there goes Sand....he tackles Beckham, gets the ball and he scores... no chance for Seeman final 0-2 but Mummy comes in to his room and spoils all the fun by putting a stop to all the noise .... Benny is sent to bed and snuggles up in between his Thomas The Tank Engine sheets..... as he slips into the land of Noddy, his dream continues..... 2nd play-off DENMARK-Engeland (at Parken, CPH) final 3-1 (you get one goal, because I don't won't to be "darkened" from your cool web-site!! :-) Ah.... how sweet.. and this is a quiz for you and your Shunt staff.: DER ET ET YNDIGT LAND, DET STÅR MED BREDE
BØGE, NÆR SALTEN ØSTERSTRAND DET BUGTER SIG I BAKKEDAL,
DET HEDDER GAMLE DANMARK
Err........ 'There is is distant land, the star baked bread, added salt, understood the bugger was sick. I broke wind. The horrible country Denmark has a lot of Friesian cows, a lot of Friesian cows.........' Am I close?
Thank you for sharing your holiday exploits with us. It made me laugh out loud. Not tempted to see any football whilst there? - I'm sure the Stepford wives would have been able to find tickets!! Actually, I would have loved to go to the Neu Camp but it wasn't possible. Another thing I would have been curious to see (but didn't) was a Bull fight.
Can you explain to us non-Brits exactly how big a deal it is for you to play Scotland in football? Basically, we've been fighting with the Scots for centuries - physically, up until about 300 years ago and since then, in various sporting contests. The 'sweaties' (sweaty jocks) hate us with a vengeance - partly because we always beat them - which is exactly what we'll do on November 17th.
Did you see the Women's World Cup final? It was a great game and not just because USA won. China played a great game too. Good venue as well. You have to love the Rose Bowl. No, I'm afraid it wasn't aired on British TV - I think they showed a re-run of the 'The Morecambe and Wise Show' instead. That's how interested we are in birds trying to play 'the beautiful game'. Actually, I did see some clips and the quality was really quite good (he says in patronising 'I suppose I'd better give them some sort of credit' manner).
It's soccer season here in the States and my boyfriend won't watch the footy with me. Whatever am I to do? Tell him that, from now on, he won't be dribbling around in your box and he can forget about sticking his ball in the back of your net - I think you'll find he soon shapes up.
You've had the football season, then the cricket season, what comes next in good Ol' Britain? The fishing season!? No, the football season again.
What life changing event can make you change your football team? Well I came close to changing allegiance when QPR (managed by Ray Harford) signed Ian Dowie, Vinny Jones and Neil Rudduck. That was an extremely ugly low point but...... a football team is for life.
Tell me which was the best football match that you remember. Chelsea 2, Leeds I - 1970 FA Cup Final replay. Yes, I was a Chelsea fan in those days.
I guess it's as hot in the UK as in DK. The weather is inclement today, and now the news....... Got anything relevant to ask? and now......the free-update on Danish football!!! Oh, great...... Laudrup: Get lost!!
.....and Brondby became second to one, some team
from Jutland won, the name
Goodnight Benny, don't let the bed bugs bite......
This summer I visited a seminar about English sports and the teacher's favourite was, of course, cricket. All the time I was wondering what the reason was for the existence of such a dull game - can you enlighten me? There are also certain terms I am not quite sure about: fielding ? cut? square leg? stumping? I guess that only British eccentrics are able to enjoy it ;-) Cricket is actually an extremely exciting and stimulating game - honest! There are moments that are as energetic as a football match or as skilful as good tennis but you can also get away with being a tub of lard and still make it into the England team. Generally, it is a game of tactics and more akin to chess. The slightest factors can have dramatic consequences on the match and effect the result in a matter of seconds so it's vital that the players understand all the little nuances of the game. For example, the most insignificant change in the weather, like the sky clouding over, can influence the way the ball travels through the air, or the number of cracks in the playing surface (the 'wicket') will determine how the ball bounces. To combat or take advantage of these things, the team captain has an array of different players at his disposal from those who perhaps bowl very fast, to experts at spinning the ball. It is his job to know when to employ these. I couldn't begin to explain all the rules but here are a few terms to help you on your way to cricket heaven.......;-) Square leg: A fielding position to the left of a right-handed batsman ..... Stumping: The dismissal of a batsman by the removal of the bails quickly while he has stepped out of his crease (batting position), having missed the ball. Yorker: A ball bowled right at the feet of the batsman. Googlie: A particularly unusual type of spinning delivery. Night watchman: A lower order batsman who is promoted up the batting order during his team's innings to protect the wicket towards the end of a day's play. Staffordshire cut: A lucky shot that the batsman knew very little about as the ball flies to the boundary off the edge of his bat, almost hitting his leg stump on it's way.
I have been reading your Q + A for a while now and see that you follow cricket, so I had to take this opportunity to send you a little e-mail. Today it is 26/07/99 and I have woken to the headline "New Zealand beat England at Lords for the first time" Gloat! Gloat! Did you watch this test match? What do you think of the English cricket side at the moment? Is there light at the end of the tunnel or do you wish winter was with you so that you could just get on and watch soccer? Not only did I watch this match but I went to
Lord's for the opening day's play. Oh, and how disappointed I was. I hadn't
been to a live test match for about 20 years and the facilities haven't
improved. Despite shelling out for the most expensive seats I could get,
Hep and I (and PK) found ourselves stuck in the most claustrophobic, atmosphere-less
section underneath the new media centre with the worst possible view. It
was freezing cold, England were shit and then it rained. I had to buy Hep
a bottle of Champagne for lunch and promise her all sorts of presents because
she looked so unhappy (and she actually likes cricket). I didn't have the
remotest idea that the ball had been swinging about prodigiously until
I watched the highlights properly on TV the next day (when the sun shone
of course).
Note from Hep: Worse than all of the above were the morons seated on all sides of us, who got progressively more drunk and irritating as the game wore on......"I say Roger, did your wife make that picnic lunch for you....gwarr, gwarr......Hey old chap, who was the woman I saw you out with last week? Woman? That was no woman, that was my wife! Gforr, Gfoor......COME ON TUFFERS, HIT IT! Well done sir........" etc., etc. Have you ever played cricket yourself? If you did play, did you bowl, bat or just simply have a slash outside the off-stump? ;-) I was opening bowler for my school team. Have you heard of the Australian cricket comedy recording called "The Twelfth Man". It is a classic! I could track down a copy and send to you. No I haven't - I'd like to hear it though. Thanks.
I have been reading your Q + A for a while now and see that you follow cricket, so I had to take this opportunity to send you a little e-mail. Today it is 26/07/99 and I have woken to the headline "New Zealand beat England at Lords for the first time" Gloat! Gloat! Did you watch this test match? What do you think of the English cricket side at the moment? Is there light at the end of the tunnel or do you wish winter was with you so that you could just get on and watch soccer? Not only did I watch this match but I went to Lord's for the opening day's play. Oh, and how disappointed I was. I hadn't been to a live test match for about 20 years and the facilities haven't improved. Despite shelling out for the most expensive seats I could get, Hep and I (and PK) found ourselves stuck in the most claustrophobic, atmosphere-less section underneath the new media centre with the worst possible view. It was freezing cold, England were shit and then it rained. I had to buy Hep a bottle of Champagne for lunch and promise her all sorts of presents because she looked so unhappy (and she actually likes cricket). I didn't have the remotest idea that the ball had been swinging about prodigiously until I watched the highlights properly on TV the next day (when the sun shone of course). Note from Hep: Worse than all of the above were the morons seated on all sides of us, who got progressively more drunk and irritating as the game wore on......"I say Roger, did your wife make that picnic lunch for you....gwarr, gwarr......Hey old chap, who was the woman I saw you out with last week? Woman? That was no woman, that was my wife! Gforr, Gfoor......COME ON TUFFERS, HIT IT! Well done sir........" etc., etc. Have you ever played cricket yourself? If you did play, did you bowl, bat or just simply have a slash outside the off-stump? ;-) I was opening bowler for my school team. Have you heard of the Australian cricket comedy recording called "The Twelfth Man". It is a classic! I could track down a copy and send to you. No I haven't - I'd like to hear it though. Thanks.
Are you following the Women's World Cup? If so, what do you think of the American team? Much better showing than our national embarrassment last year. I haven't seen any of it. It's the cricket season! I see they have just made the final though so they can't be bad.
Isn't cricket the most boring thing ever? You are now officially banned from Shunt. Never darken our doorstep again.
As a football fan, what do you think of the Hillsborough Family Support Group's continuing fight for justice? Fine - I hope they get some.
Well, well, what do you know? Just as you thought that Danish players in P.L. were forgotten, then Allan Nielsen arises as a bird Phoenix from the ashes, and wins the Liga Cup Final for Tottenham - but what's the point of a 'baby' Liga Cup? Do you qualify for any European tournament? 'Arises as a bird Phoenix from the ashes'? Don't you mean "Rises like a phoenix from the flames"? Hey Danish Benny, stick you to, no try English speak......;-) Mr. Wilder, forget the forthcoming national match against Poland, tune in on Danish television next Saturday evening, Denmark vs. Italy - now that's a REAL match!! I'd love to, but there's a really interesting documentary about winter gardening which I simply must see.....
I watched England vs. France - that was a real match! It seems to me that the "destiny" for the national teams of England and Germany go hand in hand - once superior, now inferior :-( Any thoughts on this? Well, for a start the match was like watching Arsenal vs. Arsenal - and Arsenal won. I suspect that Wilkinson may go down as not only the shortest lived but also the most useless England manager ever.
At this halfway stage in the season who do you thinks is shaping up to be champions? Chelsea?
Utd or Chelsea. I reckon Utd because they will handle the pressure better. What do you think of Chelsea at the moment? I agree that you should have a few overseas players in the line up as it adds to the game, but fielding a near foreign team is totally over the top surely. Agreed. They are good to watch but I'm more impressed with a team like Leeds at the moment (and I never thought I'd say that) who are nurturing their youngsters to great effect (Kewel, Smith etc.) How do your rate Lebouef (spell check). Over rated, diver or just a dirty player? Great passing ability (something our defenders should study), reasonable defending skills but severely follically-challenged. And he should NEVER sing. What's your opinion of Hoddle? Do you think Robbo could do a better job? I dislike Robbo (miserable git) even more than Hoddle (let's hope he doesn't come back as anything).
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